Networking Article from Networking Today Canada, Nat'l
Recent Articles from Cities Across Canada
What’s Empathy Got to Do with It?
Part II
This is Part II of What’s Empathy Got to Do with It? See Part I here.
Here are a few practical tips you might consider to help you develop your empathy.
- Listen – truly listen to people. Listen with your ears, eyes and heart. Pay attention to others’ body language, to their tone of voice, to the hidden emotions behind what they are saying to you, and to the context.
- Don’t interrupt people. Don’t dismiss their concerns offhand. Don’t rush to give advice. Don’t change the subject. Allow people their moment.
- Tune in to non-verbal communication. This is the way that people often communicate what they think or feel, even when their verbal communication says something quite different.
- Practice the 93% rule. We know from a famous study by Professor Emeriti, Albert Mehrabian of UCLA, that, when it comes to feelings and attitudes, our words account for only 7% of the total message that people receive. The other 93% of the message that we communicate when we speak is contained in our tone of voice and body language. It’s important, then, to spend some time to understand how we come across when we communicate with others. A simple thing like frowning or a raised eyebrow when someone is explaining their point of view can disconnect us from the speaker and make us appear as though we lack understanding.
- Use people’s name. Also, remember the names of people’s spouse and children so that you can refer to them by name. These small micro-initiatives make a difference.
- Be fully present when you are with people. Don’t check your email, look at your watch or take phone calls when a direct report drops into your office to talk to you. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if your boss did that to you?
- Smile genuinely at people. When the upturned lip corners lack sincerity, people know it. A genuine smile is an index of your sincerity and without sincerity, there cannot be empathy.
- Encourage people, particularly the quiet ones, when they speak up in meetings. A simple thing like an attentive nod can boost people’s confidence.
- Give genuine recognition and praise. Pay attention to what people are doing and catch them doing the right things. When you give praise, spend a little effort to make your genuine words memorable: “You are an asset to this team because..”; “This was pure genius”; “I would have missed this if you hadn’t picked it up.”
- Take a personal interest in people. Show people that you care by taking a personal interest in them. Show genuine curiosity about their lives. Ask them questions about their hobbies, their challenges, their families, their aspirations.
Empathy is an emotional and thinking muscle that becomes stronger the more we use it. Try some of these suggestions and watch the reactions of those you work with. I believe you will notice some positive results.
Years ago, I came across a saying that went something like this: the measure of a man [or woman] is how they treat someone who is of absolutely no use to them. Empathy should not be selective: It should be a daily habit. If I were to create a bumper sticker, I would say: Empathy: Don’t Leave Home Without It!
________________________________________
This article is an excerpt from Bruna Martinuzzi’s book: The Leader as a Mensch: Become the Kind of Person Others Want to Follow. More information about the book at: www.leaderasamensch.com. Bruna Martinuzzi is a global facilitator and coach, specializing in emotional intelligence, leadership and presentation skills. She can be reached at: bmartinuzzi@increaseyoureq.com.
Search Articles
More Articles
How to Get Started in Mentoring - Follow these tips to establish a successful mentoring relationship
